No one likes to fight. It is definitely a mood killer. But it is a necessary evil in relationships. So how do we get to the other side without fighting, and yet get one’s point across? How do we improve our relationships without bringing the whole house down?
Conflicts are inevitable.
Though every relationship has its share of arguments and disagreements, we can try our best not turn the volume up.
Fights that include screaming, shouting, and swearing honestly gets us nowhere. In this situation, we are just hurling words. We think we make sense, but we aren’t. And we don’t need to get to this point. We can resolve issues without all this noise.
First things, first. Conflicts are normal.
No two people can ever see eye-to-eye on all things under the Sun. So there is bound to be a collision.
Listen, and be empathetic.
Make room for what your partner has to say. Hear them out. Try to understand them as much as possible. Both of them can have a civil discussion about it, then it is just a matter of meeting each other halfway.
Be objective.
In a fight, there is always a tendency to only consider the self. Not the other. In such a situation, fights become personal which fuels defensive behavior. Try to take a step back. Breathe. Actually lay out the facts, without getting clouded by ego. And then gauge what best to do.
Create boundaries.
- No name-calling.
- No bringing up of the past.
- Sleep only after the issue is solved.
- Etc etc.
Exercise whatever rocks your boat, when it comes to improving your relationship without getting into messy fights. This could be hard, initially. But it will really set a tone to fight fair. And to really see it through, decide on what to do if one of them breaks these boundaries.
Fight face-to-face.
We have a gazillion apps that connect us. But nothing can replace real, human interactions. A lot of misunderstandings and miscommunication can take place between a bunch of emojis. Feelings are best when let out, than in a text format.
Don’t shy away from therapy.
Michelle Obama talked about how counselling helped her marriage to Barack Obama. The Obamas went for marriage therapy! She admits that marriage takes work. And we couldn’t agree more.
You will enjoy a neutral ground with a third person moderating discussions. These experts gently nudge both the parties to think about the relationship from various angles. This will help in gaining perspective.
Editor’s note:
Here are some tips to deal with a heartbreak.
Add Comment